Why I joined

Why I Joined Tonbridge u3a

What’s Your Tonbridge u3a Story?

Every member has a story to tell and we would love to hear yours.

Perhaps you joined to meet new people, learn something new, rediscover an old passion, or simply fill your diary with more fun. Perhaps you stepped up to lead a group and found it more rewarding than you ever expected. Whatever brought you to Tonbridge u3a, your story could inspire someone else to take that first step.

We are looking to feature members’ short stories in future editions of Spotlight to celebrate the many different reasons people join, volunteer and get involved.

It does not need to be long or polished. Just a few sentences about your experience would be wonderful. You can include your name and photo if you wish, but both are entirely optional. If you would like to take part, simply let the editor know

editor@tonbridgeu3a.uk

Hello. I’m Beverley Aberdein.

My husband and I always knew that we did not want to stay in our small village in

Bedfordshire in old age. We had seen too many people lose a partner, have to give up

driving and become very lonely and isolated. As he was Scottish, we had planned to move to Glasgow but, whilst we had the house on the market and had started the big downsize of possessions, he got ill and sadly I lost himin 2023.

I still knew I needed to relocate, but I just didn’t want to move as far as Scotland on my

own. After a lot of research, I decided on Tonbridge even though I knew nobody and in

April 2025 I moved into my centrally located flat. I was very aware that people were not going to come and find me. It was down to me to put the work in and get out and meet people.

u3a was one of the first organisations I joined and I have met some wonderful people whom I am starting to call friends.

I’ve joined a Spanish conversation group, I go to Tai Chi classes and I have joined the

theatre group and am looking forward to my first show.

I go to every monthly meeting to listen to the speakers and have learned so much. The

variety of topics is fascinating.

I have even joined a committee organising social events and have been welcomed so

warmly.

If you are thinking of joining u3a, just do it! It is such a friendly group of people and, with so many groups you can join, the only problem you will face is finding the time to fit them all in.

Why I joined

Why did I move to Tonbridge, leaving my comfortable, familiar life of three and a half decades to start again? Walking away from our history, friends, colleagues, students, I knew would be difficult, and a risk, but the impact of widowhood, COVID and a settled family in Tonbridge lured me south from Suffolk.

I knew of the u3a and so in an effort to meet people of my own age and interests (we can't expect your children to look after you all the time) I went to a coffee morning. A friendly welcome, a cuppa and a chat resulted in me being signed up on the day. It wasn't until a few months later that I was amused to realise that I had also been scouted as a potential committee member of the Theatre group!

As a member of the Cycling group, Country Walking group and Theatre committee, I met a lot of people quickly. Soon I was invited to events beyond the regular meetings and I began to establish some roots. My connections with people in the town were beginning to form a social life. I encouraged others in my situation (and there are many who have moved to Tonbridge in later life for various reasons) as well as locals who did not know of the u3a, to consider Tonbridge u3a as a means to making new friends, finding activities that interest them and developing a sense of purpose. I believe it's by being involved actively that you begin to establish a sense of community, create new memories and a fledgling history for yourself and others. You have to go out and make an effort because a new life is very unlikely to drop randomly into your lap.

Now on the Management Committee and serving as the Theatre for All coordinator, I am grateful for so many wonderful opportunities during the past 5 years. I've met some extraordinary people, made good friends and I'm now feeling more part of life in Tonbridge.

I would encourage people to join in, maybe in groups that are beyond your immediate comfort zone and take a risk – I've tried several groups and stuck to some too. Life as a part of a community is very rewarding.

Do you have a story about what Tonbridge u3a means to you? We’d love to hear it. Even a few words about your experience can help show just how enjoyable and rewarding u3a membership can be. We’re hoping to share short member stories in future Spotlight articles, and your contribution could inspire others to get involved. Your story doesn’t need to be long or polished, and including your name or a photo is completely optional. If you’re interested in taking part, simply let the editor know.

Julie Grimsey